● stockout.studio — SECURE SHELL — CH.SCRUMBAG · 00:00
// EMPLOYEE ONBOARDING

YOU ARE A CURSOR.
THE FEED IS HUNGRY.

A horde-survival bullet-heaven about clicking your way out of corporate-tech hell.

SCRUMBAG_TRAILER.MP4
PLAY THE ALPHA ▸

Alpha build is live — free, in your browser, no download. Bugs included; that's the job.

Cursor employment is at-will and ends in HR Termination.

SCROLL ▼
// THE LOOP
GENREhorde-survival auto-combat roguelike
ROLEindividual contributor (you)
TENURE30:00 max, then offboarded

Survive the swarm, draw level-up cards, evolve your tooling. The Feed will not ship. You will not be promoted. This is by design.

HORDE-SURVIVAL · BULLET-HEAVEN · AUTO-BATTLER ROGUELIKE · DEATH BY EMAIL
// THE ROSTER

PICK YOUR ARCHETYPE.

The roster is the comedy. Seventeen cursors, each a different way to be online. Here are a few of them.

THE USER

Hasn't opted out of anything.Default settings. Default everything.
REGION: NA-EAST · UNINSTALLS: 0

THE LURKER

Compiled their own kernel just to avoid ads.Reads every thread. Posts in none.
KERNEL: 6.6.0 · POSTS: 14,402

THE DOOMSCROLLER

Eighteen hours of screen time. Says it feels like four.Refreshed the feed. Refreshed the feed. Refreshed the feed.
SCREEN TIME: 18.3 hrs · UNREAD: 9999+

THE COMPLIANCE OFFICER

Has read every Terms of Service. Yes, all of them.Filed the addendum to the addendum.
STATUTES READ: 14,022 · BANNERS DISMISSED: 0

THE GHOST

Read 7:42 PM. Replied never.Typing... Typing... Stopped typing.
LAST SEEN: 3h AGO · DRAFTS: 47

THE PROVOCATEUR

The post is bad. The numbers are good.Was correct. Got banned anyway.
REPLIES: 38K · RATIO: -981

THE ON-CALL

Pager went off at 3:14am. East-one again.Sev-1. Sev-1. Sev-1. Coffee.
REGION: EAST-ONE · COFFEE: 6

THE HUSTLER

Side hustle, main hustle, sleep hustle.Quitting their day job to monetize their morning routine.
CONNECTIONS: 4,288 · OPEN TO WORK
[ REDACTED ]
pending background check
+ 9 more on the roster
// SURVEILLANCE — THE FLOOR

ACTUAL FOOTAGE.

Recovered from the 6.23.2026 build. The Feed is already this hungry — and it's still in development. watch the full clip on X ▸

● REC SCRUMBAG gameplay: the cursor swarmed by a wall of enemies
THE SWARMEngagement is up. Indefinitely. · WAVE 04
● REC SCRUMBAG level-up draft: Standing Desk, Engagement Farming, Email Newsletter
THE MARKETPLACE OF IDEASDraw your upgrades. None of them are a raise.
● REC SCRUMBAG late game: 512 kills, damage numbers across the screen
PEAK PRODUCTIVITY512 tickets closed. Still not promoted.
● REC SCRUMBAG combat: the cursor firing into a crowd of enemies
THE DAILY STANDUPEveryone showed up. All of them.

Seen enough? Clock in — it's free and runs in your browser.

PLAY THE ALPHA ▸
// PLAYTEST — ALPHA SHIFT OPEN

WE NEED WARM BODIES.

The alpha is live and playable free in your browser — no download, no install, just click and bleed. It's rough on purpose. Clock in, survive a shift, and tell us where it breaks. Every report shapes the build.

PLAY THE ALPHA ▸

// THE FEED — TRANSMISSIONS

THE FEED NEVER STOPS.

Dispatches from corporate-tech hell — the SCRUMBAG shorts series. New drops every week on YouTube and TikTok. Keep scrolling — you always do.

the last cup of coffee in the office
i deleted production and it asked for my last words
deploying to production at 4:59 on a friday
getting paged at 3 in the morning
every linkedin thought leader in one post
creating a password in the year 2026
PLAY THE ALPHA ▸